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A physical disability can provide a unique perspective on sweeping social trends, particularly if those trends require physical attributes you don’t necessarily possess. Take, for instance texting. Or more to the point, walking and texting at the same time. Though modern teenagers might argue texting to be the pinnacle of the evolutionary use of our species’ opposing thumbs, consider how curious this phenomenon must appear to those who have little or no use of their opposing thumbs, such as quadriplegics. Even for those like me, paraplegics who have the great fortune to have the full use of our hands, texting and moving forward in a manually powered wheelchair is nearly impossible—unless you text with one hand and push with the other, which will only result in you traveling round and round in a circle. And forget actually stopping in one spot and texting—that is so Your Grandmother it’s not even worth considering. This leaves us wheelchair users with only one option for remote wireless communication, which is to swallow our pride and hold the device up to our ear and talk; but that’s far worse than even Grandma—it’s Methuselah. Of course a slightly better alternative for wheelchairs is the Blue Tooth Ear Thingy, which would allow for simultaneous verbal conversation and forward motion; however, the Blue Tooth Ear Thingy only belongs in one place in my opinion: on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise in Lieutenant Uhura’s right ear. So that leaves us wheelchair users back where we started; hopelessly out of step, raptly watching the world of ordinary humans as they walk, run, drive and do just about everything else, all while texting at the same time.

Observe the typical lunch break at a large company, urban plaza or shopping mall. Legions of bi-peds, slowly shuffling forward, heads down, their thumbs forming words on miniature QWERTY keypads as fast as humanly possible. At first glance one would assume that they are perilously close to running into one another, for nothing seems to be able to break them from their downward peering trance, but they all saunter slowly and at relatively the same pace, eerily self-aware of one another, like the un-dead in a George Romero zombie epic. It’s an almost Zen-like procession; a resplendent release of happy non-verbal pratter, after the tortuous few hours stuck at a desk listening to the unrequited text notification tone sounding an average of 2.5 times per minute—all those pent up acronyms are now set free into the ether; ‘NMU this and ‘IYKWIM’ that—the balance of the universe once again restored.

At the large company I work for I’m careful to leave them a wide berth in my wheelchair, but what if a more unscrupulous individual were to let loose through this docile flock of texters? Someone or something moving at a faster, more uncompromising pace could wreak havoc on this visually unavailable crew, the result: bruised foreheads, stubbed toes and—heaven forbid—a broken thumb or two. It’s amazing we’ve avoided such tragedies thus far.

Which is why I feel the need to unleash an idea I have that may well revolutionize the walking/texting world as we know it. (By revealing this here and now I risk becoming the Nikoli Tesla of the handheld device era, but I feel its all for the sake of the common good.) I call my invention the Device Optical Reverse Camera or DORC. The idea is simple, and utilizes technology already present on many, if not all text capable devices. The existing camera on your iPhone or Droid is retrofitted with a special wide-angle lens. Then, the camera is connected to an “app” that launches a much smaller screen within the screen of the mobile device itself; sort of an automatic seeing eye. Now, come break time, a person can take their DORC for a walk and text freely without the need of ever having to look up! If imminent danger approaches up ahead, all the DORC has to do is adjust their path of travel accordingly all without ever missing a single ‘FMTYEWTK’!

Of course widespread use of the DORC may have some negative effects as well. Consider the postural evolution of Homo sapiens in general; whereby early hominids began to walk upright, their hunched shoulders and slouching head and neck lifting, gradually becoming upright over the course of thousands of years. Yet as mankind’s voracious appetite for texting increases and he searches for ways to facilitate looking down on a near constant basis, there exists the danger that he will slowly begin to devolve; over time he may indeed develop the ideal texting posture, head down, shoulders forward, eventually coming to once again resemble our slouched cousins of a bygone epoch, the Neanderthals (see figure 1).

Yet, in another surprising twist of evolution, mankind may yet realize the disproportionate amount of time spent pluncking out abbreviated versions of our complex language one letter at a time on handheld devices for the sake of (let’s face it) mostly insignificant topics we’d never waste our breath on anyway, is far better spent partaking in and perfecting the natural communicative gifts we’ve been given as humans in the first place. He may realize that true understanding of one another is better achieved through good old fashioned, face-to-face, voice-to-voice intercourse. Well crafted, expansive orations will once again inspire and motivate, while graceful, ingenious, long-form written prose, not 244 character snippets, will again captivate and take our imagination soaring to new heights. He may finally be judged not by the amount of gigabytes held in his palm, but by the spark of compassion, creativity and originality present in his heart, mind and soul.

Maybe I’m too optimistic—after all, as we speak, there’s somebody probably writing an app for all that.